TOP 10 TERRIFIC THINGS THAT CARING PEOPLE SAY AFTER MISCARRIAGE
You may have already read our other list: TOP 10 TERRIBLE THINGS THAT CARING PEOPLE SAY AFTER MISCARRIAGE. Now that you know what NOT to say, here’s what you CAN say to help!
Not everyone experiences emotional pain after miscarriage, but those who do may feel an unrelenting anguish and grief. They may be questioning everything that they drank, ate and did during their pregnancy. They may be harshly, internally judging themselves. If someone you care about is struggling after miscarriage, here are our Top 10 Tips of things to say that will help them to pave a path to peace.
- You are not alone. I am here for you. And I always will be.
- Would it help to talk about it? I don’t know what to say, but I am here to listen.
- How are you doing? (Ignore the “fine” answer, and then say “No really.”) And then listen to the answer.
- This is not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. No one is judging you.
- My heart breaks for you. I am sorry for your loss. Is there anything that I can do to help?
- Here is some food that I made for you. (Don’t ask to make it in advance; they won’t want to bother you.)
- Can I run any errands for you? Make any calls? Let anyone know?
- Would you like to have a memorial service or do something to remember?
- Would you like a spa / manicure / massage / lunch / dinner / a bottle of wine / weekend getaway? Even better: add “my treat.”
- I know it’s been weeks/months/years/decades since we talked about it. I just wanted to check in to see if you are OK. Would it help to talk about it? I am here to listen.
WANT MORE INFORMATION?
Good for you! We are so impressed that you’d like to go the extra mile to help your loved ones after miscarriage. Click here for additional resources, videos and a list of helpful organizations.