Mother’s Day can be difficult for those impacted by miscarriage, abortion and other pregnancy losses. But it can also be a good time to bring up this sensitive subject, to help someone you love to find comfort and peace.
3 KEYS TO HELPING
Do you know someone who has experienced pregnancy loss? Keep in mind that the 3 Keys to helping someone through this are to: (1) Be there (2) Listen and (3) Support.
“You don’t need magic words or a secret formula to help someone through their reproductive loss,” said Fredenburg. “You just need to be there and focus on them.”
AVOID “AT LEAST”
Another tip to help those struggling after pregnancy loss is to avoid any sentence that beings with “at least.” Examples of “at least” sentences include:
- “At least you’re young enough to have another baby.”
- “At least you didn’t start fixing up your nursery yet.”
- “At least you already have children.”
Sentences that begin with ‘at least’ can mean well, but can come across as trivializing pregnancy loss and its pain. It implies that this unique pregnancy experience is easily dismissed, substituted or replaced.
WEBSITES, BOOKS AND OTHER RESOURCES
If you are impacted by miscarriage, abortion or other reproductive loss – or want to help someone else impacted – Life Perspectives can help!
- https://www.miscarriagehurts.com/® is a website created by Life Perspectives that offers an anonymous outlet for those impacted by miscarriage. The site offers healing pathways and opportunities for expression for anyone impacted.
- http://www.abortionchangesyou.com/® is another website created by Life Perspectives. It too offers anonymous, healing pathways for those impacted by abortion.
- Our CEO, Michaelene Fredenburg, has authored a series of books to help those impacted by reproductive loss. Books are available at https://www.lifeperspectives.com/shop/, and ebooks are available through Kindle at a low cost, or free with a Kindle Unlimited subscription. Many of these books are offered in English, Spanish and other languages.
- Life Perspectives’ online store also offers a range of products to help those impacted, including sympathy cards, healing kits and memorial jewelry. As Life Perspectives is a nonprofit, all proceeds go back into helping those impacted.
Please note: Feelings experienced by those impacted by abortion and miscarriage are as unique as fingerprints. For some, the emotional impact can be deep and devastating. They are the ones who need help from Life Perspectives – and you!
For a glimpse into these some of these deep and devastating experiences, see the anonymous stories posted on Life Perspective’s sites, MiscarriageHurts.com and AbortionChangesYou.com. Please note: these stories are very raw and emotional, can be difficult to read.
MISCARRIAGE HELP: TOP 10 LIST
Life Perspectives has created “Miscarriage Helpful Toolkits,” specifically designed to help people process a miscarriage loss. Available here, these helpful toolkits offer advice, tips and practical steps to help anyone impacted by miscarriage.
- Just For You: Toolkit for women who have experienced a reproductive loss
- Friends & Family: When someone you love has had a reproductive loss
- Men: The invisible grief of men impacted by miscarriage
- Healthcare professionals: helping patients process their reproductive loss
- Faith based leaders: Tools to help with grief after reproductive loss your congregation
Within the Friends & Family toolkit are our popular lists:
- Two things you’re thinking right now – after someone you love has a miscarriage
- Top 10 terrible things that caring people say after miscarriage
- Top 10 terrific things that caring people say and do after miscarriage
- Videos, resources and helpful organizations for comfort after miscarriage
Starting this month, and throughout the rest of the year, Life Perspectives will be offering #ForgetMeNot2021 as a means of remembering pregnancy losses.
“After pregnancy loss, what people often fear most is that they, or their child, will be forgotten,” added Fredenburg. “Using this hashtag on social media can be your way of expressing your loss, or offering your support to others.”